Tuesday, September 18, 2007

A Life in Balance - Relationships

Preached at Hallam and Martell UMCs September 16, 2007

What is Stewardship? The word means little to the average American. Most have no clue what it means. It has come to be used by churches to mean financial management. But that is a very narrow understanding of the term. It is used by the most effective churches in a more global manner. To effective churches, it means management of ALL resources given by God, including relationships, opportunities, and time, as well as material possessions.

One of the strengths of effective churches is their ability to stress the importance of good stewardship. I would take it even further and say that, not only as a church, but as individuals, we can't live life effectively as Christians without it! Good stewardship of these items in our lives calls for clear understanding, careful and prayerful interpretation of divine guidance, and balance in our lives. That last item, balance, will be the focus of my sermons for the next 3 weeks.

Balance is a key concept in stewardship. Without balance, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, we can be completely out of God's will for our lives. How do you know you're out of balance? Some of the warning sings are:
Your “to do” list is roughly the size of the Empire State Building.
You feel like you're really busy, but you never seem to accomplish anything.
Your health is not as important as the things you need to do or accomplish.
Your family time gets postponed for things that seem to come up—all the time.
You rely on the advice of friends for direction in your life.
There is never enough time to do the things you want to do.
You feel strangely alone—especially when it comes to spiritual matters.
You respond to others in ways that you regret later.
You get angry quickly.
You blame others for the difficult areas of your life.
You often feel as though you are the only sane person—you are surrounded by idiots!

For Balance in Relationships, our model is Jesus. Jesus shows us how important relationships are by his actions. In Mark 14, a woman anoints Jesus with expensive perfume, and Jesus has to defend her, affirming that relationships—between her and Him—are more important than the value of earthly goods. In John 3, Nicodemus comes to Jesus searching for confirmation that Jesus was from God. Jesus points Nicodemus to a relationship with God through belief in Jesus—stressing to Nicodemus that this relationship is the most important relationship in life. In John 17, Jesus prays for the unity of the relationships of the disciples—that they would be one body, indivisible by the world.

Now most people believe that Jesus' whole life was about selfless living. There is some validity to that assumption. In John 19:26-27 – Jesus cares for his mother, giving care for her to John, EVEN WHILE BEING CRUCIFIED!!! If there was ever a time to focus on yourself, it would be while you were nailed to a cross!

BUT, Jesus also took time to care for himself – Mark 1:35, and Luke 6:12 are just two of the many verses that tell us that Jesus did take time for himself—to cultivate his own spiritual life and relationship with God, as well as perhaps physical care and rest. Jesus shows us that he recognized the importance of self-care – not that HE needed it, but as an example for us.

That is not to say that we should focus solely on ourselves—the key is BALANCE. In our relationships with other people, one of the things required for getting in balance is forgiveness.

When I was ten years old, I had a dog named Peanut. He was a good dog—my brothers teased him and he didn't like them, but he and I got along great. I fed him, cared for him, loved him—and he loved me. But one morning I met him on the front porch and saw a terrible thing. He had found a porcupine, and his face was full of quills. I got a pair of gloves and a pair or pliers, and began to pull the quills from his face and mouth. Most of them came out fairly easily, but there were a few that were very deep in his lips and face. As I tried to pull them out, he bit me—it hurt! But I knew that he was already hurting from the quills stuck in him. It was wrong for him to bite me, but I had to forgive him.

Sometimes the same thing happens in our human relationships. It happened to me just this week. But sometimes, you have to realize that it is not about you, and you have to understand and forgive, even if the person feels completely justified in their actions.

This forgiveness is merely a facet of the greatest part of having relationships in balance, though. Having a relationship truly in balance requires love. This is what Paul talked about in 1 Corinthians 13. He is referring to how the gifts given to each of us through the Holy Spirit work together—how the people of the church are in relationship just as each part of your body is in relationship with the other parts.

Now I could preach a long time on this particular passage, but I'm not going to—I would like you to go home today and pull out your Bibles and read it for yourself. Then look back at your week, and even the past month, and ask yourself if you displayed what Paul describes as love in your interpersonal relationships. Have you shown patience, and kindness; have you been rude to anyone, or kept track of another person's faults? Spend some time in this passage and talk to God about it.

You'll find that as your relationship with God improves, your relationship with others will improve, as well. If the time you spend with God comes into a true and proper balance, the other relationships in your life will come into balance as well.

1 comment:

Scott Couchenour said...

Mark, I appreciated your post regarding balance. The list of characteristics of imbalance was a good description of what imbalance looks like.

I have a blog myself and posted a thought that links to your post. Everyone needs balance & self care. But those in professions where they are helping people process burdens are especially in need of balance & self care. I am a balance coach to those people.

Feel free to check out the Serving Strong blog & website:
www.servingstrong.typepad.com
www.servingstrong.com

God bless!

Scott Couchenour
Email: coach@progressmax.com