Privacy in the Blogosphere

Writing a blog seems a little different than writing in a journal. While both have their merits, a journal has a semblance of privacy, of just me and God--both my thoughts for God and Gd's nudgings to me. On the other hand, a blog gives the world an opportunity to see these ramblings--whether they will or not is a slim chance. But on the slight possibility that someone else will read these words, I feel somewhat fettered in my writing. I suppose this will pass, as whatever I write, while still somewhat private because no one may really hear or care what I write (except God), is published in the world of the web and is accessible by anyone who has internet access anywhere around the world, so my thoughts are very public.

This morning I give thanks for my family and pray for their health and safety and their own spiritual growth. God continually reassures me that he is in control and that they are in good hands, yet it is difficult to watch them struggle to grow and develop, making mistakes and learning from them. I pray that my wife will be blessed in her work, and healing would come to her body. I pray that my oldest would find happiness and be renewed in her faith, and healing and health would come to her. I pray that my middle daughter would continue to spread joy to those around her, but that she would take responsibility for her schoolwork and buckle down. I pray that my youngest would find himself--that he would grow and kn ow that he is loved unconditionally and that he would find his joy in God.

I went to the hospital last night to visit the mother of a friend and former parishioner. I pray that God would give her health and healing, but even above that would give her peace--assurance of his will and providence in her life, and that peace would pass on to her family.

This morning I go to work again at Farmland. Today I receive individualized training for my new position as HOG DRIVER. Isn't that a hoot? I receive my Master of Divinity Degree, and the next week begin working as a Hog Driver--I guess that will teach me to pray for humility. But still, I am learning the same lessons--that God is sovereign, and works his will in our lives in strange and wonderful ways. I am being equipped for what God has for me. Let me remain pliable in His hands.

Christ in me?

H.A. Williams writes, "The more God gives me his grace, the more I am myself. The more I discover the greater than me within me, the more I discover that the greater than me is authentically me."

I struggled with this for a few minutes not wanting to make too much of myself or commit any sort of heresy by saying that I am any way divine. Truth of the matter is that I am fallible and weak and broken. Last night I seemed to be unable to behave in a manner that did not upset my son, daughters, or wife. I struggle to maintain discipline in our home while remaining gentle and kind--sometimes that balance is tenuous.

But as I said, I struggled with these words from Williams until I remembered John 1:35-42. Peter simply heard John call Jesus "the Lamb of God," and he immediately followed, staying with him and the next telling others that Jesus was the Messiah. It spoke to me of humanity's hunger for God. We all have an innate desire to know God and to have God in our lives. It is simply how we have been created--for relationship, with others, but especially with God. Peter recognized that need within him to be in relationship with God was fulfilled in Jesus Christ, and was changed by it.

In a similar way, as we recognize that "God-shaped hole" within us, we see ourselves in a truer light. And as that hole is filled by God in our lives, we are more authentically human because we more clearly understand ourselves and need for relationship with God. We are more ourselves when we live in relationship with God, embracing the life He sets before us in obedience, humility, and grace, but most of all...a relationship with Christ.

Character of Christ

This week, I hope to spend some time thinking and praying about the character of Christ. The first attribute that I want to explore is that Jesus was a man of prayer. The only thing the disciples asked Jesus to teach them was to pray. His prayers healed the sick, drove out demons, gave sight to the blind, simply changed lives. His prayers were filled with humility, yet he also knew who he was and embodied that power. His prayers were simple, yet profound.

My prayers are often tied up in my thoughts of what a prayer should be. The old ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication) often seems formulaic and programmed. Yet without it, my prayers are often selfish and powerless. I long for prayer that is not about "just me and Jesus," although my personal relationship feeds the rest of my life. I want my prayers to affect my family, my community, my world--to be about peace and justice and salvation and hope.

But is that really what it is all about? Do my prayers have any power? Or do I simply cast myself on the mercy of God? I believe that God longs for relationship with us just as we long for relationship with God, and as such longs to hear our prayers, just as we long to pray. It is in this partnership with God that we find strength. Strength for the day ahead, strength for the lives we lead, and strength--to pray. Lord, give me the humility and simple relationship with you that gives wings to my prayers. Let me walk in the steps of my Lord, let me pray as Jesus prayed.

A Lawless Life?

Paul wrote to the Galatians, telling them they were foolish for returning to the law, having experienced the freedom of Christ. "Those of you desiring to be under the law, do you not hear the law?" The law stifles humanity's relationship with Christ--causing us to think that we can mediate our salvation.

Hoekstra writes, "Many who are redeemed, having found new life through faith in Christ, also want to remain under the law concerning spiritual growth and service. This is another case of "not hearing the law." Any believer who expects to make progress in a life pleasing to the Lord on the basis of one's own best efforts does not really hear what the law reveals as God's will for lives.

The law of God is not suggesting that we "be better;" it is demanding that we "be holy," as holy as God. The law is not implying that we "be nicer;" it is requiring that we "be loving," as loving as Christ. The law is not proposing that we "try harder;" it is insisting that we "be perfect," as perfect as our Father in heaven.

The law of God is not asking us to improve ourselves or to be better than the next person. Many times this inaccurate statement is heard: "Just do the best that you can; what more could God require?" Well, God is demanding far beyond our human best. His law is demanding that lives "be holy," "be loving," and "be perfect." Moreover, He Himself is the standard of this holiness, love, and perfection."

This being said, what is our response to the law? Do we make efforts in spiritual disciplines to improve ourselves? or to develop the relationship with Christ, through which the Holy Spirit instructs and transforms us? Methinks the latter. We have no power to make ourselves holy or pure, it is only through relationship with Christ that this can happen.

Sunday, I received communion. I say received in the sense that I sat in my pew and a loaf was passed and a tray full of cups as well. However, no one gave me the bread or cup, I took it myself when they were passed to me. I believe this is a picture of our response in this matter. We, given free will, take Christ, and then, having been given the gift of salvation, allow the Holy Spirit to melt and mold our hearts into what Wesley would call "perfection."

Is this living under the law? or is it a life freed from the law, rejoicing in renewal daily? Methinks the latter.

New Beginning

Things are changing rapidly in my life. This morning is the first Sunday morning for the last seven and a half years that I have not been running around trying to get ready for leading worship in the local church. It seems so different to be part of the congregation rather than the pastor. Moving to this new position has been somewhat humbling, because I believe God has called me into leadership within the church.

Over the last few weeks, I have received so many encouraging notes--letters and cards from those parishioners who have expressed the impact God has had on their lives through the witness of me and my family. But moving into the chaplaincy in the Army will be a new adventure and opportunity to respond to God's calling.

Over the next few weeks, I hope to transform this blog into more of an online journal. I find that I have much more time to write and read and think now that I am not working in the local church. I hope that whoever reads this, if anyone will find in it not only food for thought, but the grace of God reflected through my writing.

I realize these paragraphs are somewhat disconnected, but I have much to say and this will help me to clear the processes of my mind.

As I read the Bible this morning and considered the coming of Jesus, an event recognized by the kings of the east, I contemplate my recognition of what it means to have the King coming into my life daily, moment by moment. I want to recognize God as a constant presence, yet often, I know he is there but don't sense it or dismiss it without a second thought. Oh, what a wonder it is to have the Creator of the world at my right hand! Yet what a wonder it is to simply dismiss Him as though he did not exist.

I read a poem this morning by Elizabeth Basset which spoke to my heart and speaks my prayer to God:

My God, I desire to love thee perfectly,
with all my heart which though madest for thyself
With all my mind, which only thou canst satisfy
with all my soul, which feign would soar to thee.
With all my strength, my feeble strength, which shrinks before
So great a task and yet can choose naught else but spend itself
In loving thee.
Claim thou my heart,
Fill thou my mind,
Uplift my soul and
Reinforce my strength,
That when I fail thou mayest succeed in me
And make me love thee perfectly.